The baby taboo
I don’t want children. I do want children. I regret having children. Children are hard work. Your baby is ugly.
There are so many things you are not supposed to say when it comes to babies, depending on who you talk to. Career people and partiers in the city often think it’s crazy to give up your freedom and want children. My mother would tell you having kids is the best thing she ever did and that it’s crazy not to want them. There are many religions and scientists who believe our purpose on this Earth is to procreate. Talk to one of my dates from date month and he’d argue that there are too many people on this world already and bringing another one into it is only harming the environment and the Earth further. When I was a kid I used to say I’d adopt, because there are too many children out there without loving homes.
I have babies on the brain, as you can probably tell. I spent the past few days at a cottage with three beautiful babies under a year old and their amazing mothers. I love each of them and I had a fabulous time, but it also made me think, do I want babies? What if I decide I don’t? Will my mother disown me? I can think of people in my life right now who would be upset if I decided to have children and those who would be upset if I decided not to.
Recently I read an archived article in The Globe and Mail entitled ‘I really regret it. I really regret having children’. It’s about a woman who regrets having children, thinks other women shouldn’t, and wrote a book about it. It is more information to add to my full head of facts, opinions and anecdotes regarding babies. I’m 32 years old and I should be thinking about these things, right? It’s going to be too late soon enough and I have to decide what I want to do. The blog partially came from a desire to find a partner to have children with, and now I’m not sure what I want.
I’m sick of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do and say. Some babies are ugly. That doesn’t make them any less special or valued. And that’s only in my opinion. It’s okay to want to have children in the city, and okay to not want them in the suburbs. It’s okay to do things your way and not listen to everyone’s conflicting advice. And it’s okay not to know what you want. I definitely am not putting having children off the table – I know I would be a great mom – but I’m just evaluating my life and my future goals. I want the option open for now, but I also want to be able to choose the no-kids option. And I hope everyone will support me either way.