Day sixty-five

The we-met-at-a-party-and-got-along-so-lets-go-out date

The Motorcycle Man (I've decided to try and take a photo of one body part from each of my dates, if they are up for it.)

Unfortunately the rain kept away the actual motorcycle, but not The Motorcycle Man.  And he even wore his boots, just so I could have a little taste of what I was missing!  I met The Motorcycle Man at a friend’s birthday party last year and have run into him a few times since (sometimes while serving beer in my kilt).  We get along,  he’s really calm, soft-spoken, quite witty and up-for-anything (obviously a quality I look for, considering my enjoyment of my date on Monday).  He’s also thirteen years older – both a good and a bad trait, considering from my experience older men can be either stuck in their ways and not willing to change, or can act and feel young and have a wise outlook on the world.

Dating someone you already know, even just a little, puts you in a different position than a blind date.  You already feel comfortable with them.  You’ve been through the initial stages of meeting someone and you know you like them as a person.  You trust them a little (especially if you have mutual friends).  But you aren’t long-time friends, so you aren’t risking losing a great friendship if it doesn’t work out.  I was not nervous at all for this date, unlike yesterday, and could be myself right from the start.

Sharing different menu items and a couple of beers at a bar I never knew about on Queen Street (bonus points for introducing me to somewhere new that I’ll definitely go back to), we chatted about life and goals.  He’s so calm, it just puts me at ease.  We went for a walk and ended up at the Bovine Sex Club (it’s a bar, mom, don’t start hyperventilating…) and watched a couple of punk bands, including the amazingly named Corgasm (see photo below – The Motorcycle Man could not stop laughing about the name!) with a drummer who loved what he was doing so much, on his face was a giant smile the whole time.  Once again, I am running for the streetcar at the end of the date (this seems to be a trend).  But not until after a trip to ride his motorcycle to Cornwall to sketch (a passion he is trying to get back into, but can’t seem to find the time) has been agreed upon.  Really, I’m just using him for the motorcycle ride… (that was a joke, just in case anyone couldn’t pick that up).

Corgasm at the Bovine Sex Club

I’ve got to start having some bad dates, or this is going to get really boring to read!

Bad Experiences

Speaking of bad experiences, I’m just going to give a sneak peak at few of the interesting times I’ve had trying to do the online dating thing (which I will talk in more detail for my first online date later in the week):

  1. A pasted form letter introducing yourself and what you want is not a way to make a girl feel special.  And when she responds that she is not interested because she doesn’t like that you sent her a form letter, “Go f__k yourself with a cucumber, you stupid b___h”, says more about your personality than hers.
  2. Telling me you’d like to lick my bum – also not a great introduction.
  3. I respect if you know what you are looking for (especially if you’ve had bad experiences in the past), but having a list with twenty criteria is pretty intense.  It’ll be pretty hard to find someone who fits all of them.
  4. “how r u” is not going to attract anyone’s attention.  At least make some effort.
I sound really jaded, but I’m actually not that bad.  I’ve met some really cool people online so far, who are willing to take the leap and go on a date, knowing that I’m doing this experiment.  I think it’s only fair I tell them about it, but the argument has been made that it taints the experiment.  I’d rather it be a little tainted than have someone really hurt if they found out later.  And anyone who isn’t willing to accept what I’m doing isn’t going to work out anyways, as I’m doing these kinds of things for the rest of the year.  There has also been the suggestion that I should tell people up front (post it on my online profile) that I’m doing this (I tell them once I feel there’s a little bit of a connection made).  I don’t know what the best way is, but I definitely don’t want to hurt anyone, so I’ll try this out and see how it goes and adapt as the month goes on.


Today I had a lunch date with a man I had dated in the past.  An actor and server, we were meeting for lunch straight after an audition of his.  Tomorrow: more on why people tend to go back to their exes and why that’s not always the best idea…