One hundred and seventy-nine

Wearing a diaper

Some of this month has been about putting myself in someone else’s shoes and seeing what it’s like for them.  Urinary Incontinence affects 200 million people worldwide, women more than men.  In fact, 1 in 4 women over the age of 18 report they have had some form of involuntary bladder leakage, although generally it happens when women are older. (Source: National Association for Continence; National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse)

There are also people who genuinely enjoy wearing diapers, they get pleasure from wearing them, or they like to act like adult babies.  (see, a supportive social community for people who like to wear diapers, for more information)

A couple friends of mine suggested I wear a diaper as a joke.  I laughed and told them that was a little too far out of my comfort zone.  But the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good idea to really understand what it felt like to have to wear a diaper as an adult.  I can’t imagine the feeling of knowing you have to wear a diaper, the embarrassment of the first time you have urinary leakage, and the knowledge that you can’t help it.  It’s not funny at all.

I wore the diaper for the day – to work, to grocery shop, to hang out at home.  It was weird.  They don’t breathe very much.  And it made a tiny bit of noise (although way less than I thought it would) when I moved.  They are a little bulkier than underwear, so I was self conscious that other people could see them through my dress.  They are also fairly high up on the waist, so the band around my middle was a little itchy.

I had a hard time actually peeing in it, though. I just held my pee.  I couldn’t do it.  I tried on my way home, but I got ‘stage fright’.  So when I finally did go when I got home, I’d been holding it the whole day.  They are obviously made for leakage, not full-on peeing, as the diaper filled up (up the sides and back – what a horrible feeling to feel your warm pee moving up through the diaper) and then started overflowing down my leg.  I jumped in the shower and that was the end of diaper wearing.

I have so much more empathy now for those people who are forced to wear diapers because of urinary problems.  It must affect so many things, including your self esteem, sexuality, cleanliness, emotional state.  I suppose you get used to it after awhile, but I can’t imagine it ever being pleasant.

There are few posts that I’ve been embarrassed to write about (the nude photo, the karaoke video).  This is one of them.