One hundred and seventy-nine

Wearing a diaper

Some of this month has been about putting myself in someone else’s shoes and seeing what it’s like for them.  Urinary Incontinence affects 200 million people worldwide, women more than men.  In fact, 1 in 4 women over the age of 18 report they have had some form of involuntary bladder leakage, although generally it happens when women are older. (Source: National Association for Continence; National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse)

There are also people who genuinely enjoy wearing diapers, they get pleasure from wearing them, or they like to act like adult babies.  (see, a supportive social community for people who like to wear diapers, for more information)

A couple friends of mine suggested I wear a diaper as a joke.  I laughed and told them that was a little too far out of my comfort zone.  But the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good idea to really understand what it felt like to have to wear a diaper as an adult.  I can’t imagine the feeling of knowing you have to wear a diaper, the embarrassment of the first time you have urinary leakage, and the knowledge that you can’t help it.  It’s not funny at all.

I wore the diaper for the day – to work, to grocery shop, to hang out at home.  It was weird.  They don’t breathe very much.  And it made a tiny bit of noise (although way less than I thought it would) when I moved.  They are a little bulkier than underwear, so I was self conscious that other people could see them through my dress.  They are also fairly high up on the waist, so the band around my middle was a little itchy.

I had a hard time actually peeing in it, though. I just held my pee.  I couldn’t do it.  I tried on my way home, but I got ‘stage fright’.  So when I finally did go when I got home, I’d been holding it the whole day.  They are obviously made for leakage, not full-on peeing, as the diaper filled up (up the sides and back – what a horrible feeling to feel your warm pee moving up through the diaper) and then started overflowing down my leg.  I jumped in the shower and that was the end of diaper wearing.

I have so much more empathy now for those people who are forced to wear diapers because of urinary problems.  It must affect so many things, including your self esteem, sexuality, cleanliness, emotional state.  I suppose you get used to it after awhile, but I can’t imagine it ever being pleasant.

There are few posts that I’ve been embarrassed to write about (the nude photo, the karaoke video).  This is one of them.

12 thoughts on “One hundred and seventy-nine

    • I notice you tried out a adult absorbant pull on pants. Many people with incontinence (including myself) have problems with full gushes as well as drippin and some (including myself) problems with their bowels. If you want to understand what incontinence feels like would recomend using an All in one adult absorbant brief. (Tena slip super or something simaler that has tapes on both sides)
      These are much more absorbant than a Adult absorbant pull on pants, you depending on how much you whant to understand what incontinence feels like you could either get a sample of an adult all in one absorbant brief online, or you could buy a pack to find out what it feels like having to wear and use them them day after day, night after night.
      Another problem people have with incontinence is that we are not always able to get changed straight away, many of us prefer to change in private and thus we prefer to use a disabled toilet and tend to stay away from the mens or ladies espeshaly when we know people are in there. For those of us who need to be changed their is no option they have to use a disabled toilet, or a changing places toilet. Yet another problem is money, while pads can be provided by the continence service many of us have never even been to talk about to a doctor about the problem. This means alot of us have to pay for our own pads, those of us who do have to pay for our own pads tend to get deal with this by changing less and wearing longer, unless soiled.

      If you want a true insight to what its like to live with incontinence ask yourself do you want to find out what its like to live with bowel and bladder incontinence or just bladder incontinence ? Do you want to find out what its like to live with it day after day ?
      If you want to find out what living with bowel and bladder incontinence is like, you will have to soil yourself, I would consider you very brave, very open minded and would hold great respect for you if you did this, If you went out in public and did this (like many of us do as we have no choice those of us who have bowel incontinence and are lucky enough to have good mobility and be able to look after ourselves with minimal support, have to go out in public for things like groceries) [TIP: dont think about it act normal after you soil your self if your going to try doing it in public, dont waddle, stand up straight, stay as far away as you can from other people, and head straight for a toilet (we usualy use a disabled toilet)try not to look upset and try not to look guilty if you dont attract attention no one will notice. wear dark baggy cloths (this makes pads less obvious) and regardless of wear you are act normal both while changing and when you come out of the toilet.

      When you wet try to continue to urinate walking, if you can not do this you could try using a cathater, (the longest these can be left in is a week, if you try this you will experience genuine urinary incontinence after you stop using them, while using them you will experience simulated urinary incontinence) The other way to do this if you dont want to try a cathiters, is to just let it go any time your standing still.
      It is important to relise that you will need a decent rash cream, if you intend to experience what it is like living with incontinence day after day, night after night, you will also need to carry a change of cloths and 2 pads with you one to change if you get to wet and one incase you soil yourself. If you use an entire pack of Adult all in one absorbant brief’s, you will have a pretty good idea what living whith incontinence is like. If you order a sample pack of Adult all in one absorbant brief’s you might get one maybe 2 so you will only have the experience of what it is like to be incontinent, not the understanding of what it is like to live with it.

      I got to go, email me if you want to discuss this further.

      • Thanks Jonathan for your comment. I had no idea and I see how my experiment didn’t do the topic justice. I appreciate all the information. I have since stopped posting on this blog regularly, though. Thanks again, Lindsay

  1. Pingback: One hundred and eighty-five PART TWO | threehundredsixtysixdays

  2. You are totally cool. But, so you know, the pull up “diapers” almost always leak. You need the tape on diapers for them to work properly. Thanks for doing this.


  3. Hi, Lindsay, wow… I know this is a serious topic…but you do realize that, probably next to your little Yorkville experiment dressing as a good looking “hussy” in Yorkville, there are some, um, let’s call ’em “freaks” (since we are all friends here and can say “hussy”) that probably would have liked to see you in that diaper thing too, right?

    Gee, I wanna end that with “LOL”… but it is sooooo creeeepy….
    Good for you, you are beyond brave!

  4. You were just wearing a pull-up. Try wearing the normal tape tab diapers. I wear them often and have gotten use to them. They hold pee a lot better. As long as it’s just urinary incontinence, life isn’t that bad. My bf still wants me and we even have some interesting roll play 🙂

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  6. There are diapers for different level of incontinence. If you only wore the pull up style Im sorry that will not work. You need a real think baby style diaper for that. I have no control what so ever so I’m like a baby. I cant wear those pull-up style you are wearing because it would not absorb it all.

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