Day eighty-four

Another OKCupid date

Me through the app designed by Shiny Shoes

He’s been sky diving a couple of times, white water rafting, hiking with black bears, and exploring Alaska.  He can’t wait to visit New Zealand to bungee jump.  He was born in India, lived in New York for years, but loves Toronto.  And he didn’t read the blog before coming on the date with me!  Shiny Shoes is an adventurous man.

I love inside jokes.  They instantly make a first date comfortable.  It’s an easy thing to bring up to remember the banter (online, over the phone or by text) that made you excited about the date in the first place.  We had a running gag involving him shining his shoes to get ready for the date, and sure enough he showed up with shiny shoes!  I loved it!

Brunch together was fun, although it turns out I didn’t explain my year as much as I thought I had online, so I spent a lot of time explaining what I’m doing.

He was really great and I loved hearing about his adventures.  So, I’m not sure whether it was the tired thing (from my day of dates the day before), or chemistry, but I didn’t feel a romantic match.  That happens – a lot, I’ve found out.  Even if you like the person on paper, the conversation is good, they are an attractive person with good manners, and you have things in common, doesn’t make for a romantic spark.  It’s as much about timing and a feeling you get that makes them someone you want to date further.

More in online dating…

There are a few things happening in the online dating world that I haven’t talked about yet and thought I’d touch on, as I’m not sure they will turn into dates.  I’ve met a couple of great people who I thought I had a connection with, but once I mentioned the blog, they backed right off.  Even one who dates bloggers on a regular basis (although he said to call him for home-made perogies next month, if I didn’t find a love match).  I’ve had a few who seem keen to go on a date with me, but then keep putting it off because they are busy or away.  I’m not sure whether they are getting cold feet, lost interest or are actually busy, but I do hear this happens a lot in the dating world (although now I’m close to being booked up for the rest of the month).

I’ve also met one really interesting man who is in a 10-year open relationship with his wife and mother of his children.  I’ve told him that I couldn’t be “the other woman”, even if his wife is into it, but I am fascinated by the concept and he agreed to answer a bunch of my questions about the lifestyle.  If I can get his permission, I will post some of his answers by the end of the month.  He did steer me towards a couple of swingers websites, though, so if anyone is interested (I’m warning you, these are rated-r websites): Fling in the City (hosted by Wicked, Toronto’s first hedonistic on-premise club) and Ontario Couples.  This is a huge section of dating that I probably won’t get the chance to explore this month, but I thought should be mentioned.


Lunch with a friend of a friend I met at a party last month who volunteered to be one of my dates without hearing much about the project.  I’m looking forward to this one, as this is our third attempt to get together.